#tmi and #body dysphoria i guess??
im sad because im turned on but i cant get off because wow wrong genitalia???
my life is so unbelievably shitty jesus christ i dont know why things keep hap[ppening to me the last year of my life has been literal hell i cantt ake it im so close to just killing myself or running away i cant deal with this oh my god seriously lets recap allt he terrible tihngs that have happened to me
- i was reall yreally poor for awhile and i thuoght we were going to be homeless or i was going to starve to death
- my dad threatened to kill my mom with a ufkcing gun in his hand
- my mom fucking jkilled herself 5 days before christmas
- major self loathing because of my stupid wrong body
- major self loathing in general
- im really worried my brothe ris going to kill himselfg
- ym grades have been plummeting
- people have started teasing me because they thingk im gay
- i was sexually assaulted last night and i have to spend the rest of the weekend with this fucking asshuole
HEY COOL FUCKING NEWS EVERYBODY I WAS JUST FUCKIN RAPED I DONT UNDERSTANF WHY SO MANY SHITTY THINGS HAPPEN TO ME CHRIST
I just wrote a really long post about how much my life sucks but tumblr ate it but the jist of it is that my body is stupid and wrong and my mom killed herself and my dad is terrible and he threatened to kill her with a gun in his hand and im really worried about Mike and its a miracle that I haven’t killed myself yet because my life is legitimately terrible
Also my phone auto corrected “jauf” (which was supposed to be just) to Kaufman which is safs last name who is jan’s girlfriend so I remembered that my best friend that im in love with and have been for about a year has a girlfriend and will never love me like I do her so hahahahaha
I think she knows the URL to this blog because she changed my password so she might see this but I don’t fucking care
i hate the summer so fucking much because mike and i always go into this self loathing depression thing at like the same time and im so worried about him because i know im too much of a fucking pussy to kill myself but he came so so so so so so close to it last year and i remember seeing his cutting scars once and my mom walked in on him on his fucking birthday last year because of his stupid fucking son of a bitch girlfriend i hate her so much because of what she did to my fucking brother he became so much different after they started dating i fucking hate her
tw: suicide and whatever
#tmi and whatever but
sometimes im glad im friends with all the hot chicks in my class even if its because they think im a girl but whenever i go to sleep overs and stuff they run around in just bras and panties and apparently the new “thing” in my school is girls spanking each other and im really ok with that
